I am jealous of a friend of mine. She's sweet and very lovable. People love her for she is not because of what her extra value. On the other hand, I am super. Yeah,...super!
I am very competent of handling most of the issues. I am also strong in a sense that I dont take ppls bullshit. I am perfect when you need someone to handling problems. I never ever doubt myself in terms of my ability.
Then, I begin to want to be WANTED instead of NEEDED. I think that's a reason why I keep falling into sadness and depression. I am needed not wanted. People have an expectation of me because what I'm capable of. I want and NEED more than being needed. Too independent, too strong and yes too SUPER.
So it's ok to do this to me cause I'll get over it. Like my ex, it's ok to do this to her cause she's strong. Perhaps she doesn't need me. When I want to be wanted instead of needed, ppl push me away because they feel they are not needed. Ironic, isn't it?
A friend of mine mentioned that don't show your independence too often. I began to realize the true meaning. Another friend told me to breathe but how can I possibly breath when everyone is counting on me. As I am coming to an emotion meltdown, I decided that I dont wanna be super. Maybe for just one day!!
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