I am jealous of a friend of mine. She's sweet and very lovable. People love her for she is not because of what her extra value. On the other hand, I am super. Yeah,...super!
I am very competent of handling most of the issues. I am also strong in a sense that I dont take ppls bullshit. I am perfect when you need someone to handling problems. I never ever doubt myself in terms of my ability.
Then, I begin to want to be WANTED instead of NEEDED. I think that's a reason why I keep falling into sadness and depression. I am needed not wanted. People have an expectation of me because what I'm capable of. I want and NEED more than being needed. Too independent, too strong and yes too SUPER.
So it's ok to do this to me cause I'll get over it. Like my ex, it's ok to do this to her cause she's strong. Perhaps she doesn't need me. When I want to be wanted instead of needed, ppl push me away because they feel they are not needed. Ironic, isn't it?
A friend of mine mentioned that don't show your independence too often. I began to realize the true meaning. Another friend told me to breathe but how can I possibly breath when everyone is counting on me. As I am coming to an emotion meltdown, I decided that I dont wanna be super. Maybe for just one day!!
So I finally watched the movie of the decade "Sex & the City." Good Lord, the old ordinary Carrie, the goodgirl Charlotte, the evil nasty Samantha. Why is this series so insanely popular? After all, it is about 4 older women who are looking for happily ever after.
Stereotype-yawning already. However, as cruel as Ariel, I still watched every fucking episode. Does that mean I am looking for my happily ever after too? Absofuckinglutely!!
Fairy tales? Perhaps!! Out of all characters, Samantha is my favorite. I mean we all got little Carrie, Charlotte even Miranda in us. Sam is the ultimate bad boy in a female term. Sam is in fact the oldest one but she does not play the rules. She is no doubt the most selfish one, ya like a man. I dont doubt I am Sam cause that's my idol though I can't possibly sleep with everyone like she does cause I have hygiene issues with most men. That's really beside the point. I guess this entry is about friendship.
Four women with four different characteristics bonds for a decade, watch it for that and celebrate women who think about what they want before what their men want. 4 different styles in different fashion sense, shoes, bags, and labels in New York. Why the fuck not? When Sam returned home from LA, she gained 15 pounds and faced the three mirrors she never got to see back in LA, he three best friends.
Look @ your best friends around you. You are friends with them for reasons, they might be different and how how similar but they will reflect of who you really are. Through them, you also learn their mistakes and their experience. Look at how successful and wonderful are they, and they all to choose you to be their friends cause you are special and they adore you.
I have lots of Charlottes and Carrie around me.I dont know who I really am, but in the end it doesn't matter cause I have them. They will guide me through my life, accompany me through thin and thick. They are my mirrors and constantly remind myself how a wonderful person I am.
